I. Love. This. Mission!

My new companion - Elder Bloomfield

     (I am sorry this one is a long one! The spirit was strong and I think you won't regret it if you take the time to read it! Also, if you see a Japanese word you might just need to look it up and translate it!)

     How are you dooooing?? The church is true! Did you know  that??:D it is I'm serious! I wouldn't joke about something like that. 

     But anyway, this week was good. I have my new companion Elder Bloomfield who is from California. He loves sports. Went to BYUI. Has a desire to work and is way steki. We are already rolling! Plus, this week I may or may have not gotten a call from the Mission home saying they couldn't find my passport... and I may have freaked out just for a minute. Then I got a call back from a Japanese Elder and the elder told me "Um.. we found it.." "Where did you find it?" "It wasn't where it was supposed to be.. I couldn't find it so another elder looked through every passport and we finally found yours. Under Elder Waiken.. in the W section." ... ... I laughed way hard I won't lie. How in the world was I put down as Elder Waiken. That has never been a thing. Never has. It just sounds off. I feel like if I read a Elder Waiken there would be some bells going off that something was wrong. But anyway the good news is that they have it!:) We did it!! We did it! It is only happy times here in Sakado. 

    This is a reflection time for sure. This past week I truly had one of the greatest weeks and days of my mission/life. It was so amazing. Words can't describe how I feel about this mission, but this week I wanted to try my best. As I read the scriptures this past week my eyes filled with tears as the spirit overcame me as I found myself mirroring Ammon of the Book of Mormon. As if taking the words from my mouth: "And the king inquired of Ammon if it were his desire to dwell in the land among the Lamanites (Japanese people), or among his people.

"And Ammon said unto him: Yea, I desire to dwell among this people for a time; yea, and perhaps until the day I die." Oh how I long to be with these people. I too only wish to serve every day the Lord allows me. But I know I am not alone.

     As with Ammon, the only desire of our army of modern missionaries is to serve their fellowmen. I only wish to serve as Christ served. Why? Because I "believe that nothing is more beautiful, profound, sympathetic, reasonable, manly and more powerful than Christ." And there is no better compliment in this life than to be told you are like Christ. I have found Him here. I have found eternity in Japan. I have found an eternal view. Because "eternity lies not in a grain of sand, but in a glass of water. The cosmos revolves on comforting the sick. When you act in this way, you are sharing in the love which built the stars. Holiness is found in how we treat others, not in how we contemplate the cosmos." 

     I have strived every day not just to ponder, but to act, serve, love, and love as Christ would. I have strived every second to share in that love which built the stars. To share in that love is what it means to be a Latter Day Saint. To share in that love and enjoy doing it. You cannot be diligent without delight. 

     "To profess to be a Saint, and not enjoy the spirit of it, tries every fiber of the heart, and is one of the most painful experiences that man can suffer." I beg every young man and woman I see to consider going on a mission - I love it will all my heart and purely rejoice in the fruitful blessings of it. I have found the joy in this gospel. It would be the hardest thing of all time to be on a mission and not enjoy the spirit of it I won't lie. But that is the beauty of a mission! It is hard and taxing and grueling sometimes emotionally and spiritually. But that is what provides the friction that wears down our rough edges and sanctifies us! That is what makes us step back, realize our weaknesses, and see that He is the one who smooths our edges and shapes us into who HE would have us be. It is no wonder that in mortality Christ was a carpenter. He Lives for rough edges. 

     As time has gone on my desires have changed. I have gone from asking the Lord "Why do I have to have these weaknesses and faults? to honestly thanking him for them because it allows me to constantly need Him and rely on his will as my Carpenter smooths my rough rough edges. You must "acknowledge and face your weaknesses, but don't be immobilized by them, because some of them will be your companions until you depart this earth life." I have learned that some weaknesses and temptations will stay us with us even if we are in the most spiritually edifying stages of life such as a mission. We all face the cycles of going from Celestial highs to Telestial get by's, and back again. 

     God did not call me or any missionary or leader in this church because they were perfect in any way. "God specifically said he called weak vessels so that we wouldn't place our faith in their strength or power, but in God's." That is just how it is. We are all weak and we all come short of the glory of God. But we all have the atonement. We all access its power every day whether we see it or not. 

     But I know sometimes it is hard to see. For all those whose faith in the atonement is waning or testimony in the gospel is in doubt, even after praying countless times, reading endless scriptures, and fasting for guidance, etc. I will not say just to pray harder or longer, read more scriptures, or fast with more intent. "I know you have been traveling that route across a parched desert. But do let me repeat here three simple ideas: be patient, remember, and take solace in the fellowship of the desolate. In Lehi's vision, he recorded, he 'traveled for the space of many hours in darkness' (1 Nephi 8:8)." 

     Conversion takes time. I know sometimes we want answers now, but sometimes experiences dictates over fulfillment of immediacy. Sometimes the persistence of darkness allows us to more fully discern the difference of it from the light. When you are in a dark room, the light switch is not always conveniently right next to you on the wall. Sometimes we too need to walk in darkness before we can flip the switch and find the light. 

     And Sometimes we need the time, even though we can't always see that in ourselves. It took me a lot of my mission to leave the foundation of testimony and make my way towards the final destination of conversion and I am still on that road. I always will be. But I have learned that we are not all on different places of conversation on the same road. Everyone has their own road with different speed limits, construction, and traffic signs. So we should never compare to see who is further along. But one thing that is common in all of our individual roads, is that because of the atonement, even if we mess up, we all have U-turns for us to take and the light never goes red on those who wish to turn around. I know.. I have taken them. I am still taking them! Oh the beauty of the atonement!! If only everyone could see it! Oh wait.. but they will! You will! Every knee shall bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is the Christ. Don't lose hope in lost loved ones or in yourself! Again just be "patient and remember."

     "Patience does not mean to wait apathetically and dejectedly, but to anticipate actively on the basics of what we know; and what we know, we must remember. I believe remembering can be the highest form of devotion... To remember Christ's sacrifice every Sunday at the Sacrament table is to say no to the ravages of time, to refuse to allow his supernatural sacrifice to be just another datum in the catalogue of what is past. To remember past blessings is to give continuing recognition of the gift and reconfirm the relationship to the Giver as one that persists in the here and now." Sometimes when we keep saying we don't know anymore or that "God is not answering my prayers," God is just trying to replace immediacy with memory, and have us call upon the night when we already received our witness. He just wants us to remember him. Is that too much for Him to ask?

D&C 6

22 Verily, verily, I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.

23 Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter? What greater witness can you have than from God?

24 And now, behold, you have received a witness; for if I have told you things which no man knoweth have you not received a witness?

     But oh how quick we are to forget. And oh how we become complainers. Sometimes we can rant and complain about things for so long as humans. We say things we don't mean as our emotions carry us out of proportion and we do impulsive things. I call it our "NATURAL MANnerisms" Saying that "life is hard (sigh)," turns into " My life is terrible!!" Or "God won't answer my prayer..." turns into "God has never answered my prayers in the past and God never will!" We forget in those moments of clouded thoughts. But in those moments of anger, sorrow, and trial, if we could stop ourselves, and just.. remember.. quiet ourselves.. Pass through the clouding thoughts of the adversary.. and say as George Herbert the poet said. 

"But as I rav'd and grew more fierce and wild

At every word,

Methought I heard one calling, a Child:

And I replied, My Lord."

     He is there. I know He is. I don't know everything, but I do know some. I still have doubts, but I am grateful for them, because they allow me to freely believe. If there was no doubt, then there would be no choice to believe. No faith. We should be grateful for our doubts. Not let them destroy our faith. But empower it! What we choose to embrace is the purest reflection of who we are! This mission and the decisions I have made have made me who I am and I am forever grateful. I wish I could stay forever. It has become my home. I have found my Brother and I am a part of the Fellowship of the Unashamed. I will never reject my Savior. Because I chose to believe in him through faith. And that faith has gone dormant as it has become a perfect knowledge. I KNOW THAT MY REDEEMER LIVES! What COMFORT this sweet sentence gives! I testify that I know. And for those that don't know, please please please do not take my word for it. That is not my intention here. I only come as a messenger of the Father. But just as every younger sibling who hears something from his older brother and does not trust him so he runs and asks dad if it is true haha, please ask the Father as well. Please ask Him if he spoke with Joseph Smith. He is the best one to ask. He was there! I know He will answer. But in His timing and His way. He may send someone to you. He may send a rainy day so we can open our eyes to see appreciate the sunny ones. In everything we can see his hand. We can choose to be "better with him" or  "bitter with him." 

     I leave you in the Lord's hands now. I must go, but please try it. I have. And I have never found more joy. Which is why I wrote a novel this week hahaha. I can't stop talking about it!!! Two years?? Give me two lifetimes onagaishimasu!! 

     I love you all. I won't lie I did not think that this week's blog would take this direction, but the spirit took me this route to say these words. I feel that it was meant for someone but if you read this and you know someone that you think could benefit from it please share it! I just wanted to take this week to testify and rejoice in this my mission:) simply... I love it:) 

Obedience is the price

Faith is the power

Love is the motive

The spirit is the key

And Christ is the reason.

Love,
Elder Trevor Waiken:)